opinion

Travis Scott’s ‘Astroworld’ is An Elaborate Prank on The Entire Music World

I uncover the biggest plot since the plot to steal the Declaration of Independence.

Okay, I’ve had enough. It was funny before, but now it is just mean. This past week, there were numerous reports, tweets, and whispers throughout the music industry that Travis Scott’s long awaited album, Astroworld, would finally be dropping. Everyone was so sure that this would finally be it. Travis even tweeted this out before the reported release date of July 13th:

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You can imagine the pure elation that people felt when they saw this tweet. He’s been talking about this project since before his second studio album, Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight. He’s been talking this album up like how a used car salesman talks up an old car. We figured since Travis actually referenced Astroworld, this would finally be the real deal.

Then July 13th passed. There was no Astroworld. There was nothing. It trended on Twitter for an entire night, and then it died, gone as quickly as it came. We figured this would finally be the one. It is like when the Knicks in the 90s thought they were going to win the NBA championship (spoiler alert: they did not). This album has been built up, made out to be legendary, putting it on a mythical status. But it is nowhere to be found. Which means that there is only one explanation. Much like the 90’s Knicks playing a practical joke on their fans, tricking them into thinking they were good, Travis Scott and the rest of the music industry are playing a gigantic prank on everyone who listens to music. Let me explain.

Travis Scott is one of the most popular artists in recent history. His past two albums, Rodeo and the previously mentioned Birds peaked at #3 and #1 on the Billboard album charts, respectively. He consistently sells out shows and shuts down venues with his wild performances. He recently received a special colorway with Jordan, the “Cactus Jack 4’s,” which sold out in under 20 minutes. He has reached an upper echelon of music and superstardom that has made him untouchable. He has even had a baby with Kylie Jenner, and still seems to be immune to the Kardashian curse. He seems to be invincible.

That is what I think this stems from. Travis Scott wants to test his invincibility. He is leading everyone on for his own enjoyment, and has seemingly recruited, I don’t know, THE ENTIRE MUSIC INDUSTRY to help him. It is like when a super genius gets bored and just decides to design a nuclear bomb. Or something like that.

Over the past couple of years, countless photos of Travis Scott and potential collaborators have surfaced, giving his poor fans hope and excitement for a new album. Here is a list of producers and artists Travis Scott has taken pictures with in or at recording studios for his “upcoming” album Astroworld: Mike Dean, Sheck Wes, Sonny Digital, Frank Dukes, FKI 1st, PARTYNEXTDOOR, Tame Impala frontman Kevin Parker, Stevie Wonder, and Kanye West. Do you know how much music that we’ve received from Travis Scott (not including Huncho Jack, Jack Huncho), exactly 4 songs. “Butterfly Effect,” “Green and Purple,” “RaRa,” and “Watch.” There have have been a lot of features, sure, but no Astroworld.

Here is what I think happened. Travis Scott believes that he can survive solely off of his previous work, features, and his rampant popularity alone. To prove it, has all his rapper and producer friends take pictures with him in “studios” and say that he’s in “album mode” to keep up the facade that an album is coming. Each post creates attention to him, and allows him to stay in the public eye without actually doing any work on the album. He plans to subsist off of his features, merchandise sales, Jordan collaborations, and obviously, the Kardashian/Jenner money. It’s a flawless plan, for sure. But I’ve figured it out. ASTROWORLD doesn’t exist. Get that through your head.

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Sure it does.

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